1
00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:04,503
(Raquel)
'Don't you walk away
when I'm talking to you.'
2
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:05,971
(Trevor)
'So stop talkin'!'
3
00:00:05,973 --> 00:00:07,840
'I don't want to talk
about it, Raquel.'
4
00:00:07,842 --> 00:00:10,142
(Raquel)
'Well, we're gonna
talk about it, Trevor!'
5
00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:12,644
(Trevor)
'You wanna talk
about it, talk about it!'
6
00:00:12,646 --> 00:00:14,380
'I'll be in the can!'
7
00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:19,852
(Raquel)
'Don't go in that bathroom
when I'm fighting with you!'
8
00:00:19,854 --> 00:00:21,820
'Don't you go
in that bathroom!'
9
00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:23,889
[door slams]
10
00:00:23,891 --> 00:00:26,325
(Raquel)
'Okay, then I'm going
in the bedroom!'
11
00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:28,494
[door slams]
12
00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:30,396
I'll give her
half a point.
13
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:34,800
Hey, pull up
a chair, Willie.
14
00:00:34,802 --> 00:00:36,335
You're missing
a good one.
15
00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:37,736
What are you doing?
16
00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:40,005
Watching the Ochmoneks fight.
17
00:00:40,007 --> 00:00:41,707
Trevor's ahead on points.
18
00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:44,643
ALF, you're not supposed
to watch people
19
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:47,713
through their windows,
find something else to do.
20
00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:50,082
Willie, there's
a power blackout.
21
00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:51,550
There's no TV.
22
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,352
No video games.
23
00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:55,754
I can't play
blink the lights.
24
00:00:57,024 --> 00:00:58,924
We're all suffering, ALF.
25
00:00:58,926 --> 00:01:00,559
Why don't you..
Why don't you go out
26
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,394
in the backyard and play?
27
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:03,729
In this heat?
28
00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:06,165
You could fry a cat
on the sidewalk.
29
00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:08,901
Well, I could.
30
00:01:09,837 --> 00:01:13,539
Say, why are you
wearing my t-shirt?
31
00:01:13,541 --> 00:01:16,542
This is what people
wear when they swelter.
32
00:01:16,544 --> 00:01:18,877
I saw it in "Streetcar."
33
00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:21,880
I don't like you
taking my clothes
34
00:01:21,882 --> 00:01:25,017
and I don't like you
using my opera glasses
35
00:01:25,019 --> 00:01:27,586
to spy on the neighbors.
36
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,955
Boy, you get irritable
when it's hot.
37
00:01:29,957 --> 00:01:32,191
Remind me to never
take you to Mercury.
38
00:01:32,193 --> 00:01:33,525
Deal!
39
00:01:35,029 --> 00:01:36,995
[saxophone music]
40
00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:41,500
Hey, would you
knock off the sax?
41
00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:46,472
[theme music]
42
00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:19,505
[music continues]
43
00:02:46,100 --> 00:02:47,766
[instrumental music]
44
00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:54,039
Hey, Willie, write out
a check for $6000.
45
00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:55,374
Alright, but, uh
46
00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:57,342
don't cash it till tomorrow.
47
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:58,977
It's not for me.
48
00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:02,614
I'm ordering a battery-powered
home entertainment center.
49
00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:05,050
I wanna be ready
for the next blackout.
50
00:03:06,153 --> 00:03:07,986
No checks.
51
00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:11,890
Alright, but it's a bad idea
to send cash through the mail.
52
00:03:13,227 --> 00:03:14,526
Lynnie, I've got
ALF's plate.
53
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:15,827
Will you carry
everything else?
54
00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:16,995
Yeah.
55
00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:19,665
Uh, nice, solid portion, Alf.
56
00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:21,633
- It's his new diet.
- Yeah.
57
00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:23,302
You can eat
as much as you want
58
00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:24,970
of whatever you want.
59
00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:26,838
And you lose
weight that way?
60
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:27,940
You do?
61
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:32,077
- Oh, not another blackout.
- Oh.
62
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:34,012
(Lynn)
I guess we'll have
to reset the clocks again.
63
00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:36,481
(Kate)
Let's not, let's just
live a few minutes
64
00:03:36,483 --> 00:03:38,584
behind everyone else.
65
00:03:40,154 --> 00:03:41,520
[burps]
66
00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:43,322
So, what's for dessert?
67
00:03:44,425 --> 00:03:46,425
You're finished already?
68
00:03:46,427 --> 00:03:49,194
What do you do, inhale it?
69
00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:51,730
He-he ate mine, too.
70
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:53,732
[doorbell ringing]
71
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,367
Get that, will you, Brian?
72
00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:56,702
No way!
73
00:03:56,704 --> 00:03:59,404
- I'll get it.
- Pass me the corn.
74
00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:01,506
ALF, go, in the kitchen.
75
00:04:01,508 --> 00:04:03,208
I just got comfortable.
76
00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:06,044
Tell whoever it is
to go into the kitchen.
77
00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:07,779
Just go.
78
00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:09,748
Carry me.
79
00:04:11,218 --> 00:04:12,751
ALF.
80
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,853
Alright, alright.
81
00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:17,122
Don't anyone eat my corn.
82
00:04:17,124 --> 00:04:18,323
Go!
83
00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:22,527
[mouthing]
84
00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:24,563
- Hi, Mr. Ochmonek.
- Hi, Trevor.
85
00:04:24,565 --> 00:04:27,232
- What is it with women, anyway?
- Beats me.
86
00:04:27,234 --> 00:04:29,801
You're a woman.
Maybe you'd know.
87
00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:31,937
Well, uh, let's see--
88
00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:33,639
You can't please 'em!
89
00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:35,974
I bring Raquel flowers.
90
00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:38,076
I talk to her
once in a while.
91
00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:40,579
You think that
makes her happy?
92
00:04:40,581 --> 00:04:42,447
Apparently not.
93
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:43,749
You're a good kid.
94
00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:44,983
Take my advice.
95
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:47,152
Don't get involved
with women.
96
00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:48,620
Take up swimming.
97
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:50,789
I get ear infections.
98
00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:52,824
Where was I?
99
00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:55,027
You were putting down
all women everywhere.
100
00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:57,763
Right, thanks.
101
00:04:57,765 --> 00:05:00,265
Nothing I do is good
enough for Raquel anymore.
102
00:05:00,267 --> 00:05:02,934
So I'm not
Gary "Mr. Perfect" Collins.
103
00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:06,305
Hey, she's no
Mary Ann Mobley.
104
00:05:06,307 --> 00:05:08,173
Anybody eating this corn?
105
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,209
I guess you are.
106
00:05:12,112 --> 00:05:13,612
[doorbell rings]
107
00:05:13,614 --> 00:05:15,914
If that's Raquel,
I'm not here.
108
00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:20,686
Hi, Mrs. Ochmonek.
109
00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:22,087
There you are.
110
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,990
Leave me alone, I'm eating.
111
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:27,959
I want you to come
home with me now, please.
112
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:30,028
Why, so you can
yell at me some more?
113
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:32,597
I don't think we should be
airing our dirty laundry
114
00:05:32,599 --> 00:05:33,832
in front of the neighbors.
115
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,601
Hey, they know we fight.
116
00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:38,603
They watch us
through the windows.
117
00:05:38,605 --> 00:05:39,971
No, no, we don't.
118
00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:41,973
No one, in this room
119
00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:44,643
watches you through
your windows.
120
00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:46,144
Really?
121
00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:49,481
I always feel someone's
watching from this place.
122
00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:51,650
Oh, it's probably our..
123
00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:53,352
...poltergeist.
124
00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:55,887
Trevor, are you
coming home or not?
125
00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:57,656
Not!
126
00:05:57,658 --> 00:05:59,958
Uh, Trevor, m-maybe it
would be better
127
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:02,694
if you did go home
and you know
128
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:05,030
uh, kind of talked
this thing out.
129
00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:07,232
You could take
the corn with you.
130
00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:09,368
Yeah, you're right.
131
00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:11,336
She's going to
yell at me, anyway.
132
00:06:11,338 --> 00:06:14,740
I might as well be somewhere
I can take my pants off.
133
00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:17,876
I'm sorry about this.
134
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:26,184
Well, that was fun.
135
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:29,221
You really should have
them over more often.
136
00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:32,391
ALF, did you hear
what Trevor said?
137
00:06:32,393 --> 00:06:34,359
Who took my corn?
138
00:06:34,361 --> 00:06:38,397
He said he knows that someone's
watching them from this house.
139
00:06:38,399 --> 00:06:41,733
Okay, I'll try not
to do it anymore.
140
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,435
Where's my corn?
141
00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:47,939
[instrumental music]
142
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:51,276
- 'Night, Alf.
- 'Night.
143
00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:52,377
What're you doing?
144
00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:53,845
Speed-reading this book.
145
00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:55,714
Really?
What's it about?
146
00:06:55,716 --> 00:06:57,883
I have no idea..
147
00:06:57,885 --> 00:06:59,885
...but the fur
on my finger's gone.
148
00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:01,887
(Raquel)
'You're like a little kid
when it comes to money.'
149
00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:03,722
'We should put you
on an allowance.'
150
00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:06,625
(Trevor)
'Hey, I'm the one that earns
the money in this family.'
151
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:08,894
Looks like the Ochmoneks
are at it again.
152
00:07:08,896 --> 00:07:10,762
Lynn, it's not polite
to listen in on
153
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:13,765
other people's conversations.
154
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:16,701
Right. What was I thinking?
155
00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:18,470
- Enjoy your book.
- Thanks.
156
00:07:18,472 --> 00:07:20,071
- 'Night.
- 'Night.
157
00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:21,706
(Raquel)
'My mother warned me,
she said'
158
00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:24,309
'"Don't marry a man who doesn't
have a job, and who gambles."'
159
00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:26,077
(Trevor)
'Ah, put a cork in it, Raquel!'
160
00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:27,813
(Raquel)
'Don't tell me what to do!'
161
00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:29,247
(Trevor)
'I'm warning you, Raquel.'
162
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:30,749
'I've had it up to here
with your nagging.'
163
00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:33,585
'Now shut up! You're waking
the whole neighborhood!'
164
00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:35,587
(Raquel)
'I won't shut up,
I want everyone'
165
00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:37,255
'to know the kind of man
I married.'
166
00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:39,624
(Trevor)
'Well, I don't.
I'm shutting the window.'
167
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:41,059
[window shuts]
168
00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:47,833
How can I read
with all this quiet?
169
00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:52,871
Ah!
170
00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:55,941
(ALF)
'Call the police!'
171
00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:57,943
Call the police!
Call the police!
172
00:07:57,945 --> 00:07:59,311
Horrible! Horrible!
173
00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:02,113
Worse than
"Friday the 13th, Part II."
174
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:04,816
Worse than
"Friday the 13th, Part III!"
175
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,618
ALF, what's going on?
176
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,053
Don't ask.
177
00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:10,956
What are you talking about?
178
00:08:10,958 --> 00:08:12,791
I'm talking about murder.
179
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:14,626
I'm talking about mayhem.
180
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:16,761
I'm talking about foul play.
181
00:08:16,763 --> 00:08:19,431
ALF, get to the point.
182
00:08:19,433 --> 00:08:21,466
- Or go back to sleep.
- Alright.
183
00:08:21,468 --> 00:08:25,637
I just saw Mr. Ochmonek
kill Mrs. Ochmonek.
184
00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:27,472
- Ah.
- Oh, come on!
185
00:08:27,474 --> 00:08:29,474
I'm serious!
186
00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:30,942
I heard them fight.
187
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:35,146
Then I saw Mr. Ochmonek
pick up an ice pick.
188
00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:37,182
Maybe you
misinterpreted things.
189
00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:41,286
Oh, right. Maybe they were
playing ice pick bingo.
190
00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:45,123
ALF, you're always doing..
191
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:46,858
Do you remember when you
thought Mr. Litwak
192
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:49,327
was building an atomic
bomb in his basement?
193
00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:51,196
It was an atomic bomb.
194
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:53,632
It was a pool heater.
195
00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:55,734
Ha! They don't
even own a pool.
196
00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:57,502
Yes, they do.
197
00:08:57,504 --> 00:09:00,472
They do?
Can we go over?
198
00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:05,377
Look, it's hot tonight.
You're tired.
199
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:06,845
You're having
a hard time
200
00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:09,848
distinguishing fantasy
from reality.
201
00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:11,816
So you're saying I'm crazy?
202
00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:13,351
I'm saying your mind
203
00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:15,720
may have been playing
tricks on you.
204
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:17,689
Fine, don't believe me.
205
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:20,492
They didn't believe
"The Boy Who Cried Wolf."
206
00:09:20,494 --> 00:09:24,195
"The Boy Who
Cried Wolf"...lied!
207
00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:25,564
He did?
208
00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:28,133
I've got to stop
speed-reading books.
209
00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:31,603
ALF, go, go to bed.
210
00:09:31,605 --> 00:09:34,573
Tomorrow morning you'll realize
how silly this whole thing is.
211
00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:36,241
I'll never rest.
212
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:39,611
Not until that
murderer's behind bars.
213
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:44,249
Alright, maybe I'll take a nap
214
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:46,084
but I won't enjoy it.
215
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:52,424
We've got...to get him a hobby.
216
00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:55,694
[instrumental music]
217
00:09:57,397 --> 00:09:59,197
[snoring]
218
00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:22,287
Aah!
219
00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:28,159
Oh, it was only a dream.
220
00:10:28,996 --> 00:10:30,762
I've got to stop
eating Styrofoam
221
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:32,530
before I go to bed.
222
00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:38,803
A-a-ah!
Aah! Aah!
223
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:42,240
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
224
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:45,076
ALF!
ALF, are you alright?
225
00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:47,312
- W-what happened?
- Aah! Aah! Aah!
226
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:50,649
- ALF!
- Hey, watch the shoulders.
227
00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:53,485
I've got bursitis.
228
00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:55,987
ALF, what were
you screaming about?
229
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,989
It was horrible!
230
00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,791
Trevor was after me.
231
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:02,293
I don't see
Mr. Ochmonek.
232
00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:04,929
Well, he was here
a minute ago.
233
00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:06,531
Check behind
the refrigerator.
234
00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:10,201
Brian, ALF was just
having a nightmare.
235
00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:12,604
That is exactly what
happens to people
236
00:11:12,606 --> 00:11:15,440
who stare into other
people's windows.
237
00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:17,676
Isn't he wonderful?
238
00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:20,845
The guy can turn anything
into an object lesson.
239
00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:24,182
Well, would you like us to stay
with you for a little while?
240
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:25,850
Yes, please.
241
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,218
Forever.
242
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:30,155
[sighing]
Come on, Brian.
243
00:11:30,157 --> 00:11:32,824
ALF, try to get
some sleep.
244
00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:36,027
I can't.
I'm too wound up.
245
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:39,164
I've been through a trauma.
246
00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:42,200
Would it be alright if the rest
of us got some sleep?
247
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,735
Sure, Willie.
248
00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:46,538
We wouldn't want you
to be cranky tomorrow.
249
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,374
Come on, Lynnie.
250
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:51,509
Let's go to bed.
Goodnight, ALF.
251
00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:54,746
- 'Night, ALF.
- 'Goodnight, ALF.'
252
00:11:59,753 --> 00:12:03,321
Okay, don't fall asleep.
253
00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:05,857
Don't fall asleep.
254
00:12:05,859 --> 00:12:08,493
Don't fall asleep.
255
00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:09,594
[metal clanking]
256
00:12:10,597 --> 00:12:11,763
Ignore that.
257
00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:13,732
Ignore that.
258
00:12:14,735 --> 00:12:16,101
[metal clanking]
259
00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:18,103
Oh, heck.
260
00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:21,439
Why must I be
so darn curious?
261
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,784
[dramatic music]
262
00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:38,423
Alas, poor Mrs. Ochmonek.
I knew her well.
263
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:42,293
[instrumental music]
264
00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:46,731
[imitating British accent]
Oh, hello.
265
00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:49,901
Is this Mr. Ochmonek
I'm speaking to?
266
00:12:49,903 --> 00:12:51,436
Oh, jolly good.
267
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:53,905
I'm doing a survey for the BBC
268
00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:57,876
and I wonder if you'd like to
answer some questions?
269
00:12:57,878 --> 00:13:00,378
Super!
Uh, first off..
270
00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:02,580
What would you say is the
difference between
271
00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:05,817
American and British
television?
272
00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:08,653
Uh-huh.
273
00:13:08,655 --> 00:13:10,221
Mm-hmm.
274
00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:12,257
Fine, and thank you,
Mr. Ochmonek.
275
00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:14,926
Question number two.
Did you kill your wife?
276
00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:16,761
- ALF!
- Oh, gotta go.
277
00:13:16,763 --> 00:13:18,329
The Queen just dropped by.
278
00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:21,399
What were you doing?
279
00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:22,834
- Just some impressions.
- 'Oh.'
280
00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:25,003
Hey, you wanna see
my Sammy Davis Jr.?
281
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:27,605
[imitating Sammy Davis Jr.]
You know, this dude, man,
and I mean that.
282
00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:31,276
- She is--
- You were harassing Trevor.
283
00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:34,445
Kate, I saw the man
bury his wife
284
00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:36,848
in the backyard last night.
285
00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:38,116
Look, don't you remember?
286
00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:40,318
You were dreaming.
287
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,687
No, this was real!
288
00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:46,357
Look, I took
these pictures.
289
00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:49,093
These are all black.
290
00:13:49,095 --> 00:13:51,496
You wanted me
to use a flash?
291
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:53,431
The guy's a murderer.
292
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:55,500
Trevor is not a murderer.
293
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,302
Murderer's do not commit crimes
294
00:13:57,304 --> 00:14:00,138
in front of windows
with the shades pulled up.
295
00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:01,940
Yes, they do.
296
00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:06,311
Leopold and Loeb used to leave
their shade up all the time..
297
00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:08,146
...and their door open!
298
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:10,215
Anybody could've walked in.
299
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:13,318
Oh, please, please.
300
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:16,221
Just give your
imagination a rest.
301
00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:19,691
Justice never rests.
302
00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:23,261
What if I gave justice
a cookie?
303
00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:26,464
Justice will think about it.
304
00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:36,474
[instrumental music]
305
00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:44,916
Oh, no!
306
00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:49,721
ALF.
307
00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:50,788
ALF!
308
00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:01,766
Oh, no.
309
00:15:02,836 --> 00:15:04,836
Trevor, don't.
310
00:15:04,838 --> 00:15:06,804
Don't go into the den.
311
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:11,910
(Willie)
'Oh, Trevor, pick up the phone.
Pick up the phone.'
312
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:14,846
[ringing stops]
313
00:15:14,848 --> 00:15:16,481
Ochmonek residence.
314
00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:19,884
ALF, why are you answering?
315
00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:21,319
It was ringing!
316
00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:23,721
You've got to
get out of there!
317
00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:25,223
Who is this?
318
00:15:25,225 --> 00:15:27,692
It's me!
It's Willie!
319
00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:29,794
Oh, hi, Willie.
320
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:32,030
Hey, I can see you
through the window.
321
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:37,235
ALF, Trevor is in
the next room. Get out!
322
00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:39,804
Right. Bye.
323
00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:45,310
Oh, Trevor.
324
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:51,883
Pick up the phone, please.
325
00:15:51,885 --> 00:15:52,850
[phone rings]
326
00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:57,322
[phone ringing]
327
00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:01,759
Hello.
328
00:16:01,761 --> 00:16:02,994
Oh, hi.
329
00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:05,163
Tanner?
330
00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:06,798
(Willie)
'Yeah, hi.'
331
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,100
Hey, did you call
just a minute ago?
332
00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:10,501
No!
333
00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:14,272
I mean, no.
334
00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:17,442
Oh, that must
have been the BBC.
335
00:16:17,444 --> 00:16:18,843
(Willie)
The BBC?
336
00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:21,279
- No!
- Yeah.
337
00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:24,983
Hey, you want to know why their
shows are better than ours?
338
00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:27,585
Because they respect
their audiences.
339
00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:29,454
Yeah, I'll give you
an example.
340
00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:31,756
Last week on the
"Benny Hill Show"
341
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:34,258
Benny meets this guy
wearing high heels.
342
00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:36,928
Ah, w-well, Benny's
not wearing the high heels.
343
00:16:36,930 --> 00:16:38,296
The other guy is.
344
00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:39,931
Benny's wearing
a dress, of course.
345
00:16:39,933 --> 00:16:42,700
'So then, when they meet
they're walking down a street..'
346
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:45,970
(Willie)
'Okay, where is he?'
347
00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:49,374
If you're talking about me,
I'm in here.
348
00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:52,777
Honey, what is the matter?
349
00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:55,613
Him!
He's what's the matter! Him!
350
00:16:57,217 --> 00:16:58,783
He just broke in
the Ochmonek's house.
351
00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:00,184
- 'Ah.'
- He went through the drawers.
352
00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:01,386
I didn't break in.
353
00:17:01,388 --> 00:17:03,988
I used a crowbar.
354
00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:07,325
ALF, didn't I tell you
not to bother Trevor anymore?
355
00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:09,861
Yeah. How does this sound?
356
00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:12,797
Ladies and gentlemen,
of the jury..
357
00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:15,400
That's all I've got so far.
358
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:18,803
This is the last straw!
359
00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:21,439
Oh, you say that
all the time.
360
00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:23,508
This time is--
361
00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:25,309
Look, Willie, you're upset.
362
00:17:25,311 --> 00:17:26,811
I understand that.
363
00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:29,480
But before you
pop a blood vessel
364
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:31,916
let me show you something.
365
00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:34,786
Exhibit A.
366
00:17:36,089 --> 00:17:38,022
Chattering teeth?
367
00:17:38,024 --> 00:17:39,657
These don't chatter.
368
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:42,093
They belong to Mrs. Ochmonek.
369
00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:45,096
This was her laugh.
370
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:48,032
Oh, great, now we know
371
00:17:48,034 --> 00:17:49,367
you didn't break
in there for nothing.
372
00:17:49,369 --> 00:17:50,768
Now, we know you're a thief.
373
00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:53,071
This proves she was murdered.
374
00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:55,440
People don't pull
their teeth and gums out
375
00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:57,508
while they're alive.
376
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:01,446
ALF, uh..
377
00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:03,881
Those are false teeth.
378
00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:06,517
No kidding?
Well, let me try them.
379
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:08,453
Give me the teeth!
380
00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:09,754
I'm returning these.
381
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:13,224
And if you ever, ever!
382
00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:15,126
Do you understand?
383
00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:19,931
See the look he gave me?
384
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:22,900
ALF, why do you
do these things?
385
00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:25,636
- I'm a concerned citizen.
- Oh.
386
00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:28,406
First they came
for the communists..
387
00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:31,042
...but I didn't
speak up because..
388
00:18:31,044 --> 00:18:32,710
...I wasn't a communist.
389
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:34,479
Then they came
for the Jesuits--
390
00:18:34,481 --> 00:18:36,280
We get the point.
391
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:38,749
Mom, don't you think
it's strange that Mrs. Ochmonek
392
00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:41,085
would leave the house
without her teeth?
393
00:18:41,087 --> 00:18:43,654
Maybe she was meeting
someone for soup.
394
00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:46,090
Never mind.
395
00:18:46,092 --> 00:18:48,759
Maybe we shouldn't have
let dad go over there.
396
00:18:48,761 --> 00:18:49,727
Yeah.
397
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:51,596
Trevor might
decide to become
398
00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:53,664
a serial killer.
399
00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:55,700
They get a lot
more publicity.
400
00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:58,803
Mom, what if ALF is right?
401
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,471
ALF, do you see
what you are doing here?
402
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,473
You're making
everybody crazy!
403
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:03,841
Honey, Trevor can't
be a murderer.
404
00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:07,011
We have known
that man for, for years.
405
00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:10,515
Oh! Oh, no!
406
00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:12,083
What? What?
407
00:19:12,085 --> 00:19:15,153
- 'What?'
- Oh, he's got his ice pick.
408
00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:17,855
Oh, he's-he's walking
towards Willie!
409
00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:20,124
I knew it!
Call the police!
410
00:19:20,126 --> 00:19:21,859
- Oh!
- Oh!
411
00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:23,027
Oh, no!
412
00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:26,130
Honey, go, go into Brian's room.
You stay with him.
413
00:19:26,132 --> 00:19:27,732
I'm going over there.
414
00:19:29,636 --> 00:19:32,870
Okay, I'll call the police.
415
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,439
Where's the phone?
416
00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:36,641
Oh, here it is.
417
00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:39,143
Aah! That's the coffee pot!
418
00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:40,278
Aah!
419
00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:44,382
Willie, are you alright?
420
00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:46,584
- Willie!
- What's the matter?
421
00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:49,921
[Kate panting]
422
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:52,557
Hi.
423
00:19:52,559 --> 00:19:54,392
What's that all about?
424
00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:56,661
Oh, well..
425
00:19:56,663 --> 00:20:00,198
Well, the lights
went out and, um..
426
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,700
Willie's afraid of the dark.
427
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:06,204
So, I thought I'd see
if he was okay.
428
00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:07,505
Are you okay?
429
00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:10,474
- I'm fine.
- Yeah, he's fine.
430
00:20:10,476 --> 00:20:11,676
You're afraid
of the dark?
431
00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:13,211
[chuckling]
432
00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:17,515
Yeah, it's not really
something I like to talk about.
433
00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:21,018
Trevor, um,
could I ask you..
434
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:24,088
What are you doing...
with that ice pick?
435
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:25,623
Chopping ice.
436
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:27,925
[sighs]
437
00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:30,194
I see.
438
00:20:30,196 --> 00:20:33,531
Uh, listen, I didn't really know
how to bring this up, uh, Trevor
439
00:20:33,533 --> 00:20:37,935
but, um, are these...yours?
440
00:20:38,538 --> 00:20:40,238
No.
441
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,707
They look like Raquel's.
Where'd you find them?
442
00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:44,075
Oh, outside.
443
00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:45,943
Oh, I wonder how
they got there?
444
00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:48,546
Well, they probably
fell out of..
445
00:20:48,548 --> 00:20:49,914
...her mouth.
446
00:20:51,551 --> 00:20:54,185
Well, thanks for being honest
enough to bring them back.
447
00:20:54,187 --> 00:20:55,720
No problem.
448
00:20:55,722 --> 00:20:58,222
Well, you know, w-we really
should be going now.
449
00:20:58,224 --> 00:21:01,525
Uh, Willie, Lynn is probably
worried about us.
450
00:21:01,527 --> 00:21:02,960
Um..
451
00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:04,729
She always
worries about us.
452
00:21:04,731 --> 00:21:07,565
Yeah. I gotta get back
to cleaning the bathroom.
453
00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:09,667
There's blood
all over the place.
454
00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:11,636
What?
455
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:14,605
Willie, let's go.
456
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:16,941
Excuse me,
is one of you--
457
00:21:16,943 --> 00:21:19,076
T-that's him.
He killed her.
458
00:21:19,078 --> 00:21:21,612
What? What's she
talkin' about?
459
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:23,914
She's just jokin',
I-I mean, I don't think
460
00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:26,384
we should be making
these accusations.
461
00:21:26,386 --> 00:21:29,720
Look, uh, some guy named
Willie Tanner called.
462
00:21:29,722 --> 00:21:31,756
Said you buried your wife
in the backyard.
463
00:21:31,758 --> 00:21:34,258
Why does ALF
always use my name?
464
00:21:34,260 --> 00:21:37,395
Hey, Tanner,
why'd you say that?
465
00:21:37,397 --> 00:21:39,096
You know why.
466
00:21:39,098 --> 00:21:43,134
You...were seen digging
a hole last night.
467
00:21:43,136 --> 00:21:47,271
Digging..
Ah, that wasn't Raquel I buried.
468
00:21:47,273 --> 00:21:49,006
That was a side of beef.
469
00:21:50,510 --> 00:21:52,610
You expect us to believe that?
470
00:21:52,612 --> 00:21:53,844
Yeah.
471
00:21:53,846 --> 00:21:56,113
I paid a guy
100 bucks for it.
472
00:21:56,115 --> 00:21:58,015
It was heisted
off the back of a..
473
00:21:58,851 --> 00:22:00,651
I won it in a raffle..
474
00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:02,253
A meat raffle.
475
00:22:03,189 --> 00:22:04,689
Alright. Alright.
476
00:22:04,691 --> 00:22:07,792
Then, why is there
blood in the bathroom?
477
00:22:07,794 --> 00:22:09,760
From the side of beef.
478
00:22:09,762 --> 00:22:11,128
I was cutting it
up in the tub
479
00:22:11,130 --> 00:22:13,364
so I could fit it
in the fridge.
480
00:22:14,334 --> 00:22:15,900
Anymore questions?
481
00:22:17,603 --> 00:22:19,870
I don't think so.
482
00:22:19,872 --> 00:22:22,540
Can I ask you
where your wife is?
483
00:22:22,542 --> 00:22:24,475
She's at her sister's.
484
00:22:24,477 --> 00:22:27,311
The meat went bad
and stunk up the house.
485
00:22:27,313 --> 00:22:30,981
Raquel said she wouldn't
come back until I dumped it.
486
00:22:30,983 --> 00:22:34,285
Trevor, Trevor,
I'm so sorry.
487
00:22:35,555 --> 00:22:38,322
How could you think
I'd do something like that?
488
00:22:38,324 --> 00:22:42,493
Sometimes our imaginations
just get the best of us.
489
00:22:42,495 --> 00:22:45,162
Trevor, we're really sorry.
490
00:22:45,164 --> 00:22:46,530
Ah, forget it.
491
00:22:46,532 --> 00:22:50,000
Raquel and I used to think
you two were moonies.
492
00:22:50,002 --> 00:22:51,402
So we're no better.
493
00:22:52,739 --> 00:22:55,005
- Not again.
- Nobody panic.
494
00:22:55,007 --> 00:22:56,907
(Trevor)
Yeah, Tanner, don't freak out.
495
00:22:56,909 --> 00:22:59,510
Listen, officer, while
you're in the neighborhood
496
00:22:59,512 --> 00:23:02,179
there's a guy named
Litwak down the block.
497
00:23:02,181 --> 00:23:05,182
I think he's building
an a-bomb in the basement.
498
00:23:05,184 --> 00:23:07,251
(male
Now I'll get right on it.
499
00:23:09,522 --> 00:23:11,021
- Did you see something?
- No.
500
00:23:11,023 --> 00:23:13,958
(Trevor)
Well, I did.
What the hell was that?
501
00:23:15,027 --> 00:23:17,461
What are you doing
with my teeth?
502
00:23:19,365 --> 00:23:21,499
You gotta be more careful
when you talk.
503
00:23:24,937 --> 00:23:27,505
[instrumental music]
504
00:23:27,507 --> 00:23:28,839
ALF.
505
00:23:29,509 --> 00:23:30,574
Oh, hi, Lynn.
506
00:23:30,576 --> 00:23:32,610
What are you doing?
507
00:23:32,612 --> 00:23:34,378
This isn't what
it looks like.
508
00:23:34,380 --> 00:23:36,881
You mean, you're not
watching the Ochmoneks?
509
00:23:36,883 --> 00:23:39,383
Alright, it is
what it looks like.
510
00:23:39,385 --> 00:23:42,119
Look, you promised mom and dad
you wouldn't do that anymore.
511
00:23:42,121 --> 00:23:44,255
I know, but I have
a good reason.
512
00:23:44,257 --> 00:23:46,257
I'm waiting for them
to go to sleep
513
00:23:46,259 --> 00:23:49,160
so I can dig up the
meat in their yard.
514
00:23:50,229 --> 00:23:51,729
I'm going to bed.
515
00:23:51,731 --> 00:23:53,597
Do we have any Beaujolais?
516
00:23:53,599 --> 00:23:54,899
Goodnight, ALF.
517
00:23:54,901 --> 00:23:56,400
Sweet dreams.
518
00:23:56,402 --> 00:23:59,437
[instrumental music]
519
00:24:04,577 --> 00:24:07,545
[theme music]
520
00:24:32,271 --> 00:24:35,039
[ALF laughing]